Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Grammy Awards Special 2007: Scarlett Johansson

Scarlett Johansson is beautiful. That is a fact. It's like saying Mariah Carey can sing or Madonna can really dance--or Paula Abdul is mentally stable.

No one can deny that she is a standout in today's young crop of talentless, spoiled and toothpick thin celebutards (think Nicole Richie or Paris Hilton). I liked ScarJo the first time I saw her that in fact, I even fell inlove (girl-crush) with her even with her mullet 'do. I started thinking lewd thoughts about her when I saw The Girl With The Pearl Earring. And I wanna marry her when I watched Lost In Translation.

Her body type does not conform to the skinny Hollywood genre. She has hips that don't lie, and my God, her breasts has a life of their own that they seem to say "Good Morning America" everytime I see it on the big screen. She is a real Hollywood gem, with her talent and fabulous good looks, I bet she'll become one of Hollywoods screen legends in no time.

But tell me, why oh why, did she look the way she looked last night at the Grammy's. I mean her dress is ok, not necessarily breath taking, and that figure, she still has the body that can make straight girls to Rosie O' Donnell. But from the neck up, I know that you would agree with me that there is something that's not right here. I mean, her hair for starters is too blonde. It's too Anna Nicole Smith (God Bless Her Soul), too Dolly Parton-ish.

Her look reminded me of a crossbreed between Zsa Zsa Gabor and Ivana Trump. Her make-up and hairstyle is too matronish for her. She looked like the medium version of that slutty mom in one of those American Pie movies. Yes, I don't recall her name but she's the hairstylist in Legally Blonde.

Better fire your stylist ScarJo, if you don't want Justin Timberlake to leave you sooner than you can toss your bright all American hair.

Learn from Cameron Diaz. That's why she went brunette.

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