Sunday, December 31, 2006

Mariah Mariah!!!

Help me, I wanna Fly like A Bird but I just cant coz this fat tummy of mine is dragging me to the ground!
Mariah has been called a lot of names. They are not at all pretty.

I want to stab something.

Fat cow, Ho, Whore, Sausage, Fat cow, Tranny, Pig, Fat cow, Mary Carey, Hippo...and oh, did I mention Fat cow?

Ok, I must admit, Mariah is not your most conservative dresser, and she has the affinity to clothes that strangely dissapear where clothes should be present in the first place.
She seemed to have developed an allergic reaction to fabric. Oh yeah, and of course Mariah, again, is not YOUR poster girl for anorexia considering she has curves that sometimes, tend to lean on the HEAVY side...
And if Mimi felt like wearing clothes, if you can call half a yard of stretchy, flimsy fabric as clothes btw, its more often than not that she wears something from the teen girls department. I often wonder how come she can sing all those ear-wax melting notes that even dolphins go gaga with, and I tried too hard, too hard in fact, to simulate that sound that now, I permanently ended with a voice that resembles that of a jumping, slimy wet amphibian.
I concluded that, if you wear clothes; tight, circulation-impeding clothes, like those that Mimi are so inlove to squeeze herself into, then you might, in my opinion, be able to sing those shattering notes.
I can just imagine the trial and tribulation Mimi and her stylist suffer everytime she has to squeeze in to adolescent clothings. Must be the reason while she's so diva late every time. I bet if my clothes were that tight, and my lungs will be squeezed to a handful, I would've spoken in that tweaky sounds too even if I dont need/want to.
Mimi represents everything that is KITSCHY. Her hair, her choice of clothing, e.g. heels and flimsy dresses in Aspen, pink UGG's butterflies galore.
Here's a pictionary of the Fashion Adventures of Mimi.
I never knew American street sweepers can look this fabulous. But do they really have to wear shirts that automatically rolls up to show your budgeoning belly?

Another innovative fashion statement from Mariah Carey. Extra large, Rosie o' Donell sweatshirt worn over the head, Russian cosmonauts boots and tight leggings and shirt. Again the obligatory dark shades is a must.



Of course the snow and cold weather can't stop our Diva from looking fabulous, the fact that her companions are freezing to death. It's all about the Diva attitude sistahs! Nevermind if her skin's about to crack open, and her hair falls frozen to the ground as long as she looks good with the obligatory stiletto, which Mimi proved to be useful to break ice during cocktails. The super dooper black shades that left her groping her way to wherever she's going. And of course not to mention the obligatory cleavage exposurre of the TWINS.

Come hell or high waters the BOOBS should show lest we forget that she has gargantuan boobs the size of a hybrid Hawaiian papaya. Mimi it seems, is always compelled to remind us that she has big juggies.


Mariah showing her long legs slim arms and chiseld facial features in a mini dress fashioned out from powdered glass under a cold January night during the New Years Celebration. Is she singing here or writhing in pain?

I still love her tho.

Mariah arrived at the Wish Night 2006 Gala wearing the most appropriate dress for the event honoring ermmm "children". Well they could at least learn from Aunt Mariah how to wear a short skirt with industrial strength tape on the hem.

Of course who would forget the Chanel dress Mariah wore during the Golden Globes. It was suppose to be sexy and haute couture, thanks to Karl Lagerfeld. But somehow it ended up rather ill-fitting on Mariah. Satin, can be a very unforgiving fabric so to speak.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

The Ewww Trinity


They literally lived in the pages of sleaziest tabloids that was published this year.
Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado
I give to you, the trinity of skank, the queens of dish... Paris, Lindsay and Britney!

Paris Hilton!

This frock is like TOTALLY fabulous. I mean who else can pull together a hot air balloon fabric/cocktail dress but good ol' me! I mean I made sure everybody saw how tan-nized my bellybutton was!

What was that? Of course I'm not wearing undies dumb! That'll totally destroy the entire outfit! I didn't get the skanky award for nothing duh! how else will people know I am coming if they cant smell me even before I arrive??!!

I made sure to tie my hair in a neat chignon just to be sure Shanna Moakler (weird name ewww...) wont screw my extensions this time! It TOTALLY hurts you know! Anyways, I'll be going, I hear Justin Timberlake is single again so...you know...I just hope Cameron Diaz is not into that Karate thingy or something...


Seriously, I wish this talented, seemingly good-natured child can pull through all the mixed up troubles she's facing. I mean, I totally like her, way back during her "parent trap" days, her Mean Girls phase, where she kept her hair, naturally redhead, her breasts perky and attractive, and of course her muscles which seems to degenerate faster than the icebergs in North Pole.

What with her dysfunctional family, her very public break-ups, her being reprimanded publicly by her movie outfit and of course who would forget the drug and suicide inclination of this natural firecrotch oops I mean red head.

But I'm sorry I couldn't forgive the way she looked in this photo. She looked like a formalinized, pale version of Terry Hatcher, don't you think? And my oh my, she is so skinny that you'd mistaken her for a filleted salmon wrapped in black garbage bag.

Pull yourself through firecrotch I mean Lindsay. There is still something in you that I like--honestly. I know you are better than and a lot more talented than Paris and Brit Brit.

Show them what you got.


Ok Britney, you don't actually have to illlustrate with your mouth how big your vagina is.

I mean, the whole wide world, actually saw where Sean Preston came from; and sadly, anyone who has access to the internet saw your tutti frutti and unwillingly scarred them for life. Even alien abductors saw what Justin and Kevin had fun with long before the famous coochie flashing.

I never liked Britney anyways, I always thought she was an overrated performer, yeah she can dance but who can't these days anyway? Even Shrek can dance right? As a singer, I always thought she sounded like a deranged cat in search of some feline sexmate, especially when she does that "Oh Baby Baby....AWWW".

Ewww.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Ewww Quote Of The Day

Again, another photo and caption that made me laugh with abandon. Hahaha! Enjoy!

In this photo we have a disgustingly hideous creature known to discharge a putrid odor. And on the left is a fish. - The Gooch

Ph0tos and Caption courtesy of : dlisted

Saturday, December 23, 2006

People Magazine's Top 5 What Were They Thinking Outfits of 2006

People Magazine has just recently posted their list of 5 of the most mind-boggling, what-were-they-thinking-outfits by Hollywood A-listers. I find it kinda amusing how these Hollywood biggies dress up this way considering they have buckets full of moolahs to stash at their whim. They could have hired the best stylist in town and garb themselves in the best designer wear of the season. But sad to say, a lot if these celebrities fantasized that just because they are famous; they can get away wearing weird clothes and think people would accept it just because they are seen on tv or on the big screen. I mean hello! Like what my grandmother always say "style is from within, either you have it or you don't."

These folks surely don't.

Rip 'em all you want, after all its almost 2007.



Beyonce Knowles

It looks like Tina Knowles (Beyonce's mum) stole one of her husbands old pinstripe suit and slashed it till she can't get enough of it and wrapped it around Beyonce's Bootylicious body in this Barbarella/Dominatrix-inspired monstrosity. And do I see a reincarnation of Joan Collins meets Linda Evans in that Dynasty inspired hairstyle? I mean having fake hair is bad enough, but having hair that resembles tsunami at it's fiercest is worst! I mean sands and uprooted coconuts must still be floating in there somwhere! Beyonce please, you know it's not wrong to say no to your Mom from time to time, especially if it makes you look like some old, 1980's cafeteria waitress balancing that something, whatever it is on your head (but I'm sure it's heavy).

Eva Longoria

I don't even know where to begin with this, in fact I think I dont EVEN wanna begin commenting on this. I mean what was she thinking?! this outfit is a crossbreed of Peter Pan meets Edwardian gentleman meets SMILING Victoria "Posh" Beckham gone all giddy. (Btw, Have you seen a photo of Victoria Beckham smiling as in, ever? Send me an email and I swear I'm gonna keep it in mint condition just in case I could auction it at Christie's under rare finds items.)

Anyhoo, this outfit certainly is "Desperate" in every sense of the word. If you are going for the androgynous chic with the scary nurse-appropriate stockings and men's shoes which I guessed you borrowed from your younger brother which is yucky btw, then you failed miserably. Although giving Mr. Blackwell a heart attack does sound good thanks to that layered horreur you are wearing. Throw in that scary 101 Dalmatian shoulder bag for good measure and you have the ultimate FASHION buffet style. Thank you, I'll pass.

Keira Knightley

Problem:

No sign of mammaries whatsoever.

No fresh top or blouse to wear within sight.

Only a flimsy skirt and Tight unforgiving belt available to wear.

Solution:

Step by step Procedure as painfully exhibited by Keira Knightley:

1. Pull your skirt over your bosom.

2.If you are one of those "under-endowed" with mammaries then get a tight belt, a very thight, wide belt.
3. Strap it mercilessly around your chest to hold the skirt from falling.

4. Bring along a lame boyfriend to finish the outfit.

5.Torture well served.

Mischa Barton

The fastest way to look like trash. Get your boyfriends stinking white under shirt, rip it at the seams for maximum impact, wear it without a bra, don't forget, that is a MUST. Bras or anything that resembles anything like it is a big NO NO. Shriveled nipples that looked like its about to fall anytime soon from frostbite is definitely a must.

Then cut your grandmother's bedsheet into longs strips and wrap and tie it around your LARGE, jutting hips with WILD abandon finishing it up into a large bow on your left hips.

Lastly, walk as if you're urinary bladder is about to explode anytime soon.

Wala! You got DIAPER FASHION.

Eva Mendes

Eva, Eva...Why art thou in such hideous frock? I personally liked Eva even way before because she's the anti-thesis of the blonde, dumb Hollywood starlet. Strong Latina features, curves and bumps here and there and a personality that spells SEXY.

Honestly, I kinda like Eva's dress here. I mean soft and flowing, and kinda exude an old, vintage-y feel to it. Although I kinda wonder how come her breast perked up the way it perked up in this photo.

I mean the dress is surely chiffon, not unless it has some sort of engineering wonders going inside, or she's working an industrial grade brassieres that made her boobs look like pomelo halves, but over all, it's a nice dress. I'm just not too sure about the collar. It looked like some girl threw a soiled panty in wild abandon and somehow, disturbingly, it landed on Eva's nape on the way to the awards show.

What I don't like is again, that over-the-top chignon with curls going haywire. I mean her hairdo is even bigger than her face right? Is she sharing the same hairstylist as Beyonce (look up)?

Even more puzzling is the way she posed for the paparazzis . I mean, it certainly looked like some slimy, putrid creature was making its way up her crotch. She's not sure whether to stand still or wriggle in disgust with what that supposed creature's doing in-between her legs which explains the catatonic/orgasmic expression.

Hairstyle: $200

Dress: $8,000 (I assume)

The expression on her face: PRICELESS.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Happy Birthday His Royal Hotness!!!

Happy 43rd Birthday Brad Pitt!!! You're like a fruitcake, the more you age the more you become DELICIOUS!!!! I wanna be Angelina even if I have to take care of all these multicolored children just as long as I can have you following me from here to eternity. Again Happy Birthday...call me.


Monday, December 18, 2006

Ewww-Worthy Celebrity Of The Week

Lately I have been featuring more Hollywood Celebrities and that got me thinking how I have unfortunately (fortunately for local celebs) ignored the fashion fiascos of the local, native type.

So for my fans who live outside the Philippines, let me introduce you to the wonderfully ewww-y fashion sensibilities (if there is any) of the brown, fudgy type that is Filipino Celebrities. I don't have the latest idea who are the newest fashion dumb ass in the local scene because I haven't been checking out the boob tube for like ages now. I've been too drowned up with work and my social life that I dont even have the time to waste time (oxymoron i know) to plomp my curvy ass infront of the television.

So what I did was to rely on the CLASSICS.

The original fashion offenders of the Philippine Cinema. The cocroaches (did I spell it right? Whatever, cocroaches are beyond eww that their not even worth correctly spelling-ed for bah!) of Philippine entertainment industry, the brown Cher. (in passing, I remember I read once in an article that if the world's about to end, there are two creatures who will remain living on Earth, its cocroaches and of course, Cher.) Well can I nominate Tita Pilita Coralles in the prestigious roster? The so-called Asia's Queen of Songs and also the Official hip-bender of Asia.

Thanks to her inch-thick body shaper she can still can afford to twitch in an uncomfortable fashion to think she's that old. I mean, I know one day will come when her back will just spontaneously snap from all that back bending nuance that she does. But I love her, and given that she's like 100 years old and still look regal and lithe.

Going back, I wanna feature for the first article on the Ewww-Worthy Celebrity Of The Week, someone who is not that old, but someone who should have learned a lot of fashion know how because she has been in the entertainment biz for like 2 decades now. And if she hasn't even learned a single bit in that span of time, then she is more than worthy to be strapped onto a cactus plant and whipped with a powdered glass-sprinkled at the tip lash.

Enough of the verbal diarrhea. Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce to you.

Vina Morales!

I mean I'm sorry but I hate this girl so much. She has this air of hypocritical stench that I just couldn't stand. She climbs the social ladder so hard she's putting Jack (of the Beanstalk fame dumb) out of job! She tries, very hard to socialize, to be accepted, but sadly, you don't get accepted in simply because you just don't have it. The x-factor. The oomph. I can just imagine what Manila society saiys whenever she pops up (uninvited i assume) to parties and social functions. Remember how Borgy Manotoc sheepishly told DJ Mo about his tryst with Vina. As if he admitted to the whole world he had STD.

Anyhoo, here is Vina Morales. Yes you can shred her to bits. Like that icky top she's wearing below.

Here's what she wants you to read:


VINA MORALES: "Hey look at me, I was mugged on my way to the studio, they thought I was this arrogant new guy walking proudly on the street, they were 5 in all, I was a bit dishelved but thanks to this iron body of mine I knocked them all down, I came here unscathed, but my top wasn't as lucky...so here I am. Shoot."

I recently visited her website and found this little "Vina Revealed" section where she gets to "spontaneously" answer some of life's most important questions. Here's the text and my commnets in red hehehe. Of course I won't let this exciting opportunity to pass noh!

A - Greatest ACHIEVEMENT in life
.Being loved by my family and friends.
(Hey girl, just in case you wanna know, 80 million filipinos are also being loved by their friends and family, but it's not their greatest achievement. A lot of them are hungry, jobless and poor, so stop the freaking hypocrisy and answer the questions like it's supposed to be!)
B- Favorite BOOK and why?
Bible, it gives me peace of mind and keeps megrounded in life.
( Yeah right and the Pope shits in the woods! I just find it hypocrytical that she even used the bible to project a religious and holier-than-thou image. And btw, did something extraordinary happened in you life to make you un-grounded in life? She could have said she reads Hemingway or Sheldon, which is atleast closely realistic, although I dont think this bitch even know who these authors are.)
C - What do I COLLECT?
Watches.
(Yeah to keep track of how old you're getting and still pathetically single and to remind you that you don't have to dress like you're in your puberty ok?)
D - My DEPRESSIONbusters.
Music, praying and being with my nephews andniece - my angels.
( Since this comment involed kids, I'd rather not comment. I've a heart too you know!)
E - Favorite EXPRESSION
"Whoopsie daisies!" Yeah I know it's an old expression but it just slips out.
( Yeah right, it just slips out as fast you "slip" a painful tube of feces when you have constipation! I mean that's crazy! You don't accidentally slip on a banana peel and say whoopsie daisies right? I mean come on! You are a filipina and I bet the first thing that comes out of your filthy mouth is "P*&%ng ina"! Again stop the hypocrisy!
F - Do I visit the website created by my FANS?
But of course, I find it flattering and sweet.
(and wished them dead after for posting your pre-HUNKS pictures.!)
G - My GUILTY pleasure
Ice cream and chocolates... yummy!
(Lay off with the "yummy" comment. Everbody knows Ice cream and Chocolates are yummy duh. And we can't imagine you eating ice cream and saying yummy. It freaks me out just thinking about it.)
H - Recent HORRIBLE experience
When I missed my flight in Japan to L.A.
(they want you more in Japan you see.)
I - ITEM I can't live without
Ipod.
(For the first time, I TOTALLY agree with you.)
J - JEANS or slacks?
Jeans!!!
(Ok ok we heard you, you dont have to shout.)
K - Do I believe in KARMA?
Very much.
(Remember the Borgy comment thing? That's karma for sure.)
L - One thing LACKING in my life
A soulmate.
(If you have a soul to begin with. I mean read my lips "s-o-u-l-m-a-t-e".
M - MONEY or honey?Mmm... honey!
(Give her jugs of honey and please throw in the angry honeybees for good measure please!)
N - What makes me NERVOUS?
Big crowds at my concerts.
(How can there be big crowds when there are no concerts to begin with? Surely you've been at peace for a long time now.)
O - OUTLOOK in life
Being optimistic.
(Hahahaha. Well-thought answer.)
P - My PHOBIA
Cockroaches... yikes!
(Again lay off the yikes comment! You are not a hapless 13 year-old. You are an old woman with the body put Batista a run for his money.And I know you can squash them effortlessly, what with your Herculean arms?)
Q - My QUIRKIEST trait
I can sleep all day, all night.
(when was the last time you heard sleeping quirky?)
R - REASON to smile
I'm alive.
(And that is our reason to frown fyi.)
S - Do I write my own SONGS?
I do sometimes.
(We know it''l go straight to Fitness First's Body Jam Session.)
T - TYPICAL day for me
Fixing my place and doin' my errands.
(Very informative. I wonder how she comes up with these very informative answers?)
U - UNKNOWN fact about me
I chat in the net a lot.
(So do we.)
V - Describe my ideal VACATION
Spending a safari adventure in Africa with somebody I love.
(Tarzan maybe? Or honking that baboon somewhere. Whatever.)
W - Type of WORKOUT that keeps me in shape
Yoga, and I go to the gym for cardio exercise. I also play a lot of sports, and badminton is my favorite as of the moment.
(uhuh.)
X - X'CELLENT advice "Live a life of prayer, and get strength from the greatest Teacher."
(Ewww!!! Channeling Mother Theresa does not become you FYI. )
Y - How's my business - YSTILO Salon?
Doin' very well (as of October, 2004), we have about 28 outlets and still expanding.
Z - Are you true to your ZODIAC sign?
Is it true to me?
(Dumb answer! I give up!)

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Ewww Quote Of The Day

I literally snorted while laughing at this photo and comment.

Sienna Miller

"It's always such a happy moment in a young girl's life when she's finally allowed off her leash for a few minutes. "

Comments and Photo courtesy of Go Fug Yourself

The Ewww Plantastic Celebrity #1

Amanda Lepore:


I bet you have heard of this plastic (literally) creature once in your lifetime. But who is Amanda Lepore really? She is a 75% percent latex/silicon and 25% percent biotic pussy flap rolled into one. If abusing lip collagen is a crime, Amanda Lepore would be serving life sentence.
I mean she has the lips to END all lips. Mick Jagger? Steven Tyler? Angelina Jolie? Eat your LIPS out! I mean in! Whatever.

Amanda Lepore is NYC's most famoust transexual. Ok let me explain what a transexual is for my less than intellectually fortunate readers. Transexuals are men who underwent operations to become a woman. The had their large cocks sliced and mutilated, had their balls sccoped out and their ball sacs rolled out to form the quintessential pussy flaps. That got me thinking if Paris Hilton has pussy folds made out of rolled ball sacs. I mean she's like a white gurl and all but her vagina is rather dark for skin you know. Oh well, the law of friction, the more you rub, the darker it gets.

going back to Amanda, sure she looks weird and all, and her breasts are as perky as Mt Fuji. I mean I'd sell my soul if I'm like 100 years old and I still have the breasts Scarlet Johansson right? But Amanda is still an eccentric, fabulous, science-fiction character with 350 and a half cosmetic surgeries under her belt, over her hat, inside her esophagus and wherever else you can imagine. Of course, again, the gravity defying water balloon excuse of a boobs is no exception.

Anyhoo, here is the fantabulous Amanda Lepore! Enjoy before she melts!

Amanda Lepore as the Pink Panther (plastic style) who is in dire need of a pink Panty.

Xtina Aguilera is that you???

Amanda Lepore imitating a Volkswagen Beetle.

Amanda Lepore as Santa Claus gone goulishly gay!

Look at me! I'm telling you look at me! Straight in the eye!!!!!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Beyonce Is An Alien...

Beyonce was peeling off due to extreme heat. You know how cold it can get in Mars (her mother land FYI) so obviously, her false epidermis melted when she performed outdoors under direct sunlight. Careful not to cross path with this alien vermillion or you'll be shown what green, cold blooded creature lurks behind that beautiful exterior. So be careful Jennifer Hudson!
Comments? Email me at nogcat@yahoo.com or post on the comment area.

Run for Your Life! It’s the 50 Worst Songs Ever!

Blender's 50 Worst Songs Ever. Laugh. Drool.Whatever. ( I personally picked out the worst's worst. Enjoy.)




CÉLINE DION
“My Heart Will Go On” 1998
And on and on and on…Lop off all but the first 20 seconds of this monster ballad, and it still merits a slot on this list for the unconscionable crime of adding pan-flute solos to the pop lexicon. But it doesn’t stop there: With a voice full of ornamental quivers and trembles, Canadian dynamo Céline Dion pushes arena-size schmaltz into the red, first cutting her syllables preciously short, then strangling each one out. Never has a song about all-consuming love sounded so trivial and been so inescapable — it powered the Titanic soundtrack to a year-topping 10 million copies sold, and made millions more pray that an iceberg would somehow hit Dion.
Worst Moment The third chorus, where she goes from soft to eye-bleedingly loud.



RICKY MARTIN
“She Bangs” 2000
La vida proves not to be so loca after allThe arrangers of Ricky Martin’s follow-up to “La Vida Loca” worked with the fevered desperation of men who had been driven to the desert and made to dig their own graves at gunpoint: first with the hooting 180-piece horn section, then the percussion played by a crateful of ADD-afflicted chimpanzees, and — finally, in a last-ditch effort at the fade — a male chorus as numerous and frenzied as the Red Army Choir let loose in a Cuban whorehouse. The ingredients of its epic predecessor are all here — but it’s all wrong, and worse still, unintentionally hilarious.
Worst Moment “She looks like a flower but she stings like a bee/Like every girl in his-to-ry!”

AQUA
“Barbie Girl” 1997
Scandi-wegian pedo-pop alert! Erk! Brilliant idea: Take a child’s toy, turn it into a twisted sexual fantasy (“Kiss me here, touch me there”), set it to teeth-rotting synth-pop like a robot pony kicking children to death and hawk it like Happy Meals to the under-13s. Perhaps the gambit sounded acceptable in helium-huffing singer Lene Nystrøm’s native Norwegian, but in English it’s just plain wrong. Barbie manufacturer Mattel sued, but that didn’t stop “Barbie Girl” from casting a blight on 1997. One question sprang to mind if you were unlucky enough to catch the video: Weren’t they a little old to be doing this?
Worst Moment “Rapper” René Dif’s basso profundo “Come on, Barbie, let’s go party.”



.JOHN MAYER
“Your Body is a Wonderland” 2001
Get this man a cold shower “Ohhh,” the women of the world sigh, “why can’t I just find a nice guy — you know, someone who’ll compare my breasts to a theme park?” Yearn no more, ladies! Drool never sounded as sweet as it does on this slow-stirred ode to daytime sex — but even from the otherwise charming Mayer, it’s still drool. What’s more, sunny acoustic guitars belie some creepy undertones: When Mayer rasps “Discover me discovering you” and “I’ll use my hands,” it sounds as though he’s sitting in a dark room, playing pocket pool to a camera he planted in the women’s lavatory.
Worst Moment Mayer describes the “deep sea of blankets” on his bed. Ewww!

BETTE MIDLER
“From a Distance” 1990
Satanic ballad depicts the Lord as neglectful oaf. Ignoring an entire century of existentialism and science that declared God dead, bawdy bathhouse babe Bette Midler keeps a straight face throughout liberal homilies, stiff rhymes and more sound F/X than a Mel Gibson movie. Sure, war and famine suck, but Midler assures us that “God is watching us, from a distance.” In other words, the Almighty is some kind of heavenly grandfather, loving and caring, but too doddering and distracted to really get involved. Thanks, God!
Worst Moment The drum machine. If God exists, He probably hates drum machines

BILLY RAY CYRUS
“Achy Breaky Heart” 1992
At least the haircut never caught on. Oh, wait…Country, but not as we know it. Written by Vietnam vet Don “Pickle Puss” Von Tress in the style of a brain-dead “Blue Suede Shoes,” “Achy Breaky Heart” represented every prejudice non-believers have about country: It was trite, it was inane, it was big in trailer parks and it was thoroughly enjoyed by the obese. Strangely, it was covered by Bruce Springsteen, with slightly less irony than you might imagine; still, this does not make it good.
Worst Moment An instrumental break that single-handedly rejuvenated the line-dancing fad.

Think you know a song more puke-inducing than the above mentioned? email me at nogcat@aol.com or post a comment. Whatever. Mwah.

My Flat Screen T.V.

I took pictures of my newly purchased flat screen TV. Enjoy!

but it took me a week to install it...wanna know why?


My mom's surely gonna kill me when she sees what I did to her room...sheesh.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Name That Cooch!

This made me laugh so hard I nearly burped my gallbladder out.

Photo courtesy of socialite's life.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Beyonce` Oh La La

Caption This.

Celebrities Without Make-Up On (and a hairstylist, good lighting, airbrushing yadda yadda...)

Ever wake up one morning and felt like you were the fugliest creature ever created? Ever had a bad hair day where you just wanna slump in your bed and eat sunflower seeds all day long? If that's the case then here's something that will up your spirits... even Hollywood's perfect poster girls get the blues. Here are they are like you've never seen them before.




Is this really Renee Zellweger? Or is this Grumpy in the Disney animated Classic Snow White?



Penelope Cruz having a lock jaw.


This is a computer generated image of how Pam Anderson's gonna look like after 30 years...NOT!


It looks like Lisa Kudrow's mom apparently having a serious bout of diarrhea.


I still love her grumpy looking or a pretty woman!


She is still lovely no?



There goes granny. I always wondered why Goldie Hawn loves covering her face with bangs and wisps. This is the reason apparently.
Looks like she just woke up. Still pretty in my opinion.


She looks like Rosie O' Donnell here right?


ugh...

ewwww... Justin Timberlake is bringing ACNE back...

No comment.


She looks like a dyke here. TOTALLY


TALES FROM THE CRYPT