Wednesday, February 28, 2007

2007 Academy Awards Special: Jessica Biel

"Hey guys...look at me, just look at me. Am I fabulous or what? Yeah this is the body that sent Cameron Diaz' insanity to snap. I mean I did try so hard to downplay my bootylicious body with this hot pink excuse for a dress and a little help from my dad's good ol' belt.

Am I THE HOTNESS or what...You know, sometimes I try not to look in the mirror that much coz I can't help thanking God for making me soo exotically beautiful despite having the largest mouth in the biz.

Okay to further stress my point, I will compare my boobs with that fat obese woman in white. Ugh! Don't she have any fashion sense at all? I mean she's all fat and gooey and she's wearing a white ruched frock for crying out loud!? Don't she totally look like a detergent bubble? That's what you get for eating too much Cheetos every night. Ewww.

Okay, so here it is, now THERE! Can you see the difference between MY boobs and her tubs of lard? See! *wiggle wiggle* Oh look Mama! No hands! It's still WAY up there!"


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