Monday, January 08, 2007

Hideosity Celebrity of the Week

There are only 2 types of celebrities in Hollywood: either you're :
  • a young bee-yotch acting all grown up by being intoxicated or whore-ing yourself inside the pants of the biz's most eligible (100 blow jobs a day keeps the throat doctor away!), OR,
  • you're a grown up matron, still intoxicated, but this time both by collagen implants AND an overdose of dissillusionment that you still got the wares. YES, the wares.

CELINE DION (God bless the Titanic) is NEITHER! Simply, she's just a matron. And celebrities of her kind are RARE.

"Say NO to plastic surgery!" Hell I won't! You make cosmetic surgery prototypes like Cher look good! Celine girl, you make my 70-year old grandma look damn fine! That's fine, but you're just 40! Yes, 40 eons ago your skin was born ahead of you!

French goddess or Septuagenarian Gawd-dess? I see more layers of skin here than that of a sharpei. This 30s-inspired do (ala Aguilera) needs no effort as she really looks like a blonde bombshell born in the 1930s. There is a good on earth after all. Next best things to Saddam being hanged to death is Celine covering her navel. There is good on earth after all.
She should have every reason to look stark mad after her overdose of ash blonde hair dye secreted into her nerves and turned her facial skin into the malformation that it is! Hell I'd blacklist everyone involved into that do!

MORAL OF THE STORY: Die young. Else, risk looking like your momma's old neighborhood hootchie!


Ritardo said...

mommie hair scares me

diehardfan said...

ur soooo bad...
hope u look like her when ur older..girl-next-door..tsktsk!