Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Fairy Tales And Cartoon Characters As Interpreted By Lil' Kim


Lil Kim' played the role of Goldilocks who somehow managed to get lost inside the set of the Exorcist. After the make up and prosthetics was applied, she blindingly went to another set but this time, to a porn flick where again she gets to be gang banged by 40 men (of different Animal Kingdoms btw). Luckily, only one was infected with crabs and he was taken out from the American Kennel Club.

Her most true-to-life role ever. Lil' Kim played the part of the the bastardized daughter of one of the pigs and the big bad wolf. After the big bad wolf blew on the straw house, he saw the pig lying seductively on the floor, being the BAD WOLF that he is, he threw all his cares and made love with the sex-starved hog.
Lil' kim got the snout from her mom, and the brown pelt from his dad. Perfect.

Lil' Kim as SMURFETTE.
Only this is the X-rated, porn version of the beloved blue dwarf. Of course in this version, Lil' Kim dreams of being gang-banged by a troop of smurfs headed by Papa Smurf! Oohh incest at its finest! Wait for the grand finale where Lil' Kim will be showered by neon blue man juices by every male smurf in the land BUKAKE style.

Lil' Kim as the PINK PANTHER

Only this time, she is actually a black jaguar (is there any other colored jaguar other than black?) posing (and spray-painted) as the pink panther. I don't even know what to say anymore. Haha!

Lil' Kim as Hannibal Lecter meets Ice Princess

Here, Dr. Lecter woke up from his cell feeling a little itchy on the genital area. Lo and behold! He had changed into a girl, a black, midget ugly girl with an insatiable urge to scratch her groin. He looked in the mirror and saw the shock of her life! This is what he got from munching on other peoples brains and innards.

He can actually live the fact that he turned out to be a dwarfed black woman with ugly contact lenses, but it's the itchiness and burning sensation in between his legs that he can't seem to live with. Have mercy he pleads!

And of course, who can forget Lil' Kim reprising her role as the biological mother of Gizmo in GREMLINS 2007. (Look for the Gremlins 2007 entry on the archives pls.)

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