Thursday, November 09, 2006

Fashion Victims Beware!

I definitely hate fashion victims! I woke up one morning and heaven figuratively opened right before my heavily mascara-ed eyes *blink blink* (yes i wear mascara to bed just in case Prince Charming comes along ready to smooch me on the lips, morning breath and all! Or maybe a cute, poltergeist might jump right onto my bed and do delicious things to my hapless (pretending hehehe) Natori-clad body.

Going back to my original topic, (maybe the cute poltergeist will look like Josh Duhamel, oh wait maybe Colin Farell in that hot steamy sex vid I downloaded on the internet...errr *oops*

Anyways, yes I woke up feeling all fluttery and light when, as I have mentioned awhile ago, heaven totally opened before me ( imagine those fabulous soft clouds parting ways, then a soft beam of light came out and gave me a heavenly glow without the help of any cosmetic enhancement.)
Then I suddenly woke up and realized.

I think the fashion gods revealed to me my ultimate mission in life.

That is to TERMINATE the fashion criminals! Gag them in a nice Hermes silk scarf till they can't breath their unfashionable breath no more!

Strangle them with fantabulous Bulgari necklaces, burn them at the fashion stake! (e.g. Bergdorf, Harrod's Greenbelt 3!) Stuff their icky head inside an Hermes Birkin in Cognac.

That said, I will wear my chicest outfit and hunt every nook and cranny of the metropolis to find and persecute the fashion criminals! I will spare no one, unless you can buy me that cute Harry Winston Pink Diamond 5 carat ring( although the picture here is the delightful Jonker Diamond and not necessarily a ring but a big, and I mean BIG chunk of "ice"...hehehehe.

Enough said, read on and enjoy the fabulous fashion misadventures of moi!

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